Non-extractive Leadership Protects Choice

Welcome to Systemic Engineering.
Welcome to Frame Engineering - Part 2.
Welcome to engineering a room full of people.
While refusing to tap into dark patterns (manipulation).

Shall we begin?

Sucker Punched

That moment your gut drops?
Someone you trusted,
just told you,
something that hurt.
They violated the constraints of a shared frame.
(Farewell, Anna.)

That gut dropping feeling?
Probably your diaphragm.
Running an old, reliable interrupt.

No noise.
Just signal.

Trust the signal.
It wasn't your fault.

Frame Violation:
When an actor,
violates the constraints,
of a shared frame.

Frame Hooking

Everyone does it this way.

Heard that one?
I have.
More than once.
It's a frame hook.
An unethical one.

Frame Hook:
A statement or question,
to influence an actor,
to enter a frame.

Has anyone ever invoked their title-based authority on you?
How did that feel?
Maybe a drop in the gut?
It wasn't your fault.

It was a frame hook.
Masquerading as leadership.
To "preserve" alignment.

Hooray. 🎉

Extraction

Unregulated systems become incoherent under load.
Unregulated leadership becomes incoherent under load.

When systems fail, they fragment.
Fragmentation increases load.
An unregulated system wants to shed that load.
And picks the path of least resistance.
(You've seen it happen.)

It wasn't your fault.
It was fragmentation under load.
An expected failure mode of an incoherent system.

Shall we subvert it?

Neutral ACK

Boss (waves with papers):
"John, get this done right now!"

John (grabs the papers):
"Okay."

Okay.

Funny word.

It signals confirmation.
It doesn't signal agreement.
Huh.

Other examples:

• "I see"
• "Interesting"
• "Thanks for sharing"
• "That's one way to look at it"

Sometimes.
Not arguing, stabilizes the system.

Sometimes.
Not lashing out, reduces harm.

Subversion

Boss (waves with papers):
"John, get this done right now!"

John (grabs the papers):
"Okay."

John (walks a few steps away, turns around):
"Do you want the handover of my current tasks via email or in written form? Or do you literally expect me to drop everything I'm doing for this right now? Just checkin."

John just handed back ambiguity.
Good job, John.

Ambiguity:
Missing context to resolve
fragmented reality,
into a coherent model.

Unresolved ambiguity gets encoded.
In code.
In processes.
In teams.
In people.

This is where ethics enter the room.
Not as philosophy.
But as an embodied practice.

I think there's a link between fragmented realities.
And trauma.
But I'm just an engineer.

Coherent Call-to-Action

Intrigued?
This work can be done deliberately.

Systemic Engineering is how I help teams and leaders
restore coherence in complex systems.

You can reach me at:
📧 alex@systemic.engineer

Or sign up to get practice-oriented insight.